Do you sometimes wonder what you did to deserve a chain of events? Do you sometimes wonder why life is such a struggle when others seemingly breeze through without a hiccup? Yesterday, I thought, would be a good day. Having just returned from a week abroad I should be well-rested, reset, balanced, and do you know what, until the "hiccups" started I thought I was. Corfu is 2 hours ahead, and despite only staying a week it is amazing how fast our circadian rhythms realign in a new time zone, add to this the rather confusing tradition of there being British Summer Time, or not as the case would have it, means we have a 3-hour jet lag. I quite like getting up early; it makes me feel on top of the caseload, makes me feel doesn't always translate into reality, however, they say perception is reality so maybe it's as good as an affirmation?
So, back to yesterday! I woke at 5am to the wind and rain thrashing the house and surrounding trees. It was truly vile outside. Monday was a run day so it was either face the weather or risk the ghastly treadmill which I find gives me the option of copping out. I did it, I went outside but it had taken me so long to psyche myself up to it, the rain had stopped and it was emerging to be a new day, a new dawn and all the lyrics that go with that song! Whilst on this run, which is more of a mind game of my legs protesting and my stubbornness prevailing, I got a phone call. Of course, as the phone was in fact stuffed down my pants because otherwise, it bashes me at every stride, I missed the call. Finally retrieving the phone and listening to the voicemail it transpired to be the dentist's office. The dentist that we were all booked in for an annual checkup, which is already 4 months overdue, saying that the appointments would have to be rescheduled as the dentist was ill.
Derailment Number 1.
Middler, who is at school this week, had gone back to bed to get some more sleep (being a teenager she needs a lot of sleep!), so what ensued was me running along, trying to pick up the steady pace in order to get home ASAP, as well as me calling Middler to try and get her out of bed because now she was going to be late for school. No appointment meant she had to go to school! Of course, she was still out for the count as I crashed through the house. Middler usually walks to school, but under the circumstances, I drove her so she was only a few moments late to class, registration missed entirely but hopefully the out of breath message on the school answer machine would guarantee her no punishment 😳 This derailment in itself, in the cold light of a new day doesn't seem particularly dramatic, but to me, the new less balanced, more hormonal, perimenopausal me, finds it really hard to stay calm even when the situation is retrieved or retrievable.
Derailment Number 2: A long-awaited consultant appointment for Littlest. We left on schedule, found a parking space, checked in at the outpatients' admissions desk, followed the warren of corridors to Zone 3, handed over the paperwork at Pediatrics only to be told, your appointment isn't at Harrogate District Hospital, it's in Ripon!! The consultant had a full diary, so that appointment was lost. I was absolutely horrified at my error - this just isn't me. I don't do mistakes, I am fastidious, but to be honest recently I am losing my mind. Of course, this derailment blindsided me. That was it, my day was a write-off. I was so incensed at my own stupidity. I should have been carrying my Stress Relief Spray, or my other drops which I can never remember who makes them, but actually regardless of the should, could and would haves I just don't deal with stupidity well FULLSTOP!
All this being said, I did manage to recover myself eventually. I'm still cross with myself, but that doesn't get you anywhere. Today is a new and very beautiful day. I shall enjoy the weather, get the 3 loads of washing on the line whilst I can. I have some errands to run for a poorly friend, at the same time I can recycle the plastic bags, and I will enjoy Littlest's company. Today started at 5am again, dogs walked by 6.30am. I did have a bereavement to deal with; my bantum wasn't looking well yesterday and this morning when I went to feed up she was missing from the flock. When I went to the hen house she was literally dying. She died in my arms and for that I was grateful. She was the prettiest of all of our hens (good job they're not listening), but she hadn't laid for a while and I did have a sense that all was not well. RIP beautiful girl. When I can find the photo in the file that I have just created but cannot locate I will share. Honestly I seem to find the easiest tasks so hard these days 🤦♀️
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